Lately I have been feeling pretty bad about myself and other areas of my life that I have been struggling in lately. Today though randomly as I was checking over my finances and looking over my recent financial aid award information and writing out checks for rent, loan payments, and other expenses I saw a little sunshine for a moment.
I am working on doing something that I actually want to be doing and I am very much in control over a lot of aspects of my life. I'm doing it on my own and yeah it can be defeating sometimes to get a paycheck and then immediately turn to having to break it down to all the places you need to make payments be it rent, a loan payment or any other expense. However, at least I am able to do this and I can take out my check book and pay my rent and keep up with making loan payments even when it can be a bit of a struggle sometimes.
My personal life is not so bad either. Recently I have realized several of my "friends" have proven far less than reliable and I have felt very disconnected and even hurt when they just never call me back or whatever the reason or excuse may be (not to say there haven't been legitimate reasons, but I think we all know sometimes that our emotions get the best off and it hurts all the same). Still this has made those in my life who are there for me stand out even more and I realize that I still have many friends that care when I have a bad day or just want to bitch and don't care if I need to text them something stupid at 6 am or would come to help when I have trouble starting my car. I hope you know who you are and I appreciate your friendship greatly. Great friends are hard to find I think and I feel lucky to have as many great friends as I do.