Monday, April 27, 2009

Joined the Ranks

I have had a Twitter account for a while but only got into updating it about 2 weeks ago and now I'm obsessed. It's a pretty strange concept, but it's fun. Here is my Twitter if you want to follow:

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Of Course They Are Playing "The Notebook"...

I end up watching the Notebook on Lifetime (which is enough to mock me as just by saying that) and I always think I don't like the Notebook then I see part of it and I'm like oh wait their cute. Then the old people come on and interrupt the story and I remember why I think it's bad. I know that's the whole point of the film like love is timeless and all that but I hate it. No one wants to see the old people who seem to be doing terrible acting jobs in my opinion. Is it really dementia or is she just a terrible actress for that role? Either way I feel like I should like the notebook, but I just can't. If you cut it up about an hour of the whole film is actually with the characters telling their love story the rest depressing and garbage. I am sure this puts me in the insensitive category, but do I get back in it when I mention that I was in fact watching Lifetime?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Ugly is Pretty

Weird possibly ugly leggings. Love' em.


Took my math exam and....fairly, no, 99% positive I failed it. I am really disappointed in myself and I don't know how I could have prepared more. I did extra assignments, practice problems, hours of studying, and still I fail.

At this point it seems that I should be used disappointment, but it still stings quite a bit. Lately everything has felt like one struggle after another and I seem rather alone on my uphill climb that feels more like I am walking backwards. I've had a bit of financial troubles trying to figure out how I am going to pay for school and it's hard when the financial aid office at my college doesn't help or give me any guidance and I don't know anyone else who is paying for school on their own. I believe in my education and am willing to do whatever it takes to make sure I graduate, but sometimes everything gets overwhelming and it's hard to deal with. I feel like I have to study more then anyone else and yet I still do worse. It's disheartening to sit next to someone who misses classes, doesn't do homework, doesn't study, yet gets a better score than you on an exam. I'm exhausted and don't know what else to do. This isn't just about my math class even, I don't do stellar in any of my classes yet I feel like I put my all in. While everyone else seems to get away with the partying college experience I work and focus on school work and up coming up short every time. There must be something I am doing wrong, but I don't know how to improve myself.

I'm constantly told that having strong work ethic is going to get my far in life and that test scores won't matter in the real world. Well, I have yet to see that as true in anyway. Money is the new test scores in the real world in my opinion and I am at the bottom of the barrel in that department as well. Currently my outlook looks like mounds of debt for my future which I will attempt to pay off with out defaulting (a HUGE fear of mine. If I fail with money I have no back up and no family to bail me out when times are tough so can't wait for that when I graduate...) and continuing to work hard and watch other pass me up effortlessly.

Future looks pretty dull at the moment. I'm going to continue to work hard, but I'm tired and only getting more exhausted. I'm determined to finish school to show everyone I can do it even if I am not anything special in academics. Someone has to be floating around in the middle or the bottom and it seems the reality of my place there is setting in.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Tomorrow Decides My Fate

Big day tomorrow! I am taking a math exam and I HAVE to pass it! I have been working really hard on learning the material and doing practice problems, redoing homework problems, memorizing formulas, ect. Hopefully I am ready! I just have to manage to stay calm and keep myself together and I should be okay. I don't expect to do great (even though anyone else who studied as much as I did probably would do well because they are normal), but I just want to do decent. I HAVE to pass this class and I refuse to fail after the hard work I have been putting into it. Wish me luck! I'll need it. Here is hoping I do well.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

U-S- of A...Get it together already!

Quick Update so that I actually make progress on updating! Watched Miss USA tonight to see the Veronicas perform and they were amazing as usual. Loved the outfits. Jess's pants (or leggings?) with sequins were fabulous, I want some. I was kind of voting for Miss Utah out of the final 5 because she was pretty damn hot (well Miss USA hot because all those girls look alike pretty much. Wave hair, lots of make up, sparkles, ect.) and who knew anyone who looks like that could come from Utah? I am slightly impressed. Slightly.

Sorry the video is such bad quality! They are still fabulous.

In other news Miss California was asked how she felt about gay marriage and she said she did not approve and was promptly booed. I have to say I am shocked because she is representing California and I would think she would be more forward thinking and accepting. Enough is enough with not allowing gay marriage. Even if you are obsessed with the idea of marriage being only between a man and a woman (which is ridiculous, but if that's our claim to why it should not be) think of it in simple legal terms. If you are gay you still pay taxes and thus you deserve to have the same tax rights as everyone else! Married couples get tax breaks, why should a gay couple be denied this? They pay taxes too. Otherwise if it upsets people so much to ruin the "sanctity of marriage" -which is total crap because I think we ruined that with our 5 second Vegas weddings, VH1 specials, and the Bachelor - you should see that gays deserve the same legal rights as everyone else. We are all the same doesn't matter who you love. There is my big stance.

For all those that didn't see the tiara and sequin fest (bad quality again ugh):

Monday, April 13, 2009

Returning from Nowhere

I haven't posted in ages and I feel like that should change. I am pretty sure no one actually reads my blog because there are never any comments. Even before I stopped posting for over a month. I am going to try and make a change in that area and turn this around by posting again. Not that I have any profound things to say, but I hate to watch my little blog go to waste.

Currently I am trying to memorize a speech for my Public Speaking class. It's not going well and I am pretty sure I am going to get a B even if I do better than I expect to and surprise myself. My professor is so nit picky that I can see myself getting any exceptional grade.

As of this morning I am obsessed with Twitter. I had it before, but I didn't care much about it and rarely updated (sounds familiar doesn't it...). Now I am all about it, but we shall see how long that lasts. The Veronicas are on it though so that's pretty exciting to see their Twitter posts, those girls are awesome. I hope I get tickets to their concert this summer.

Just came back from my spring break and it's been a bit hard to try and adjust to my school work load and sleeping pattern again. Ugh, I'm losing motivation. I'll admit though I'm pretty crazy over that boy right now. <3